Getting Unstuck
5 Reasons Why Most People Lack Sexual Confidence
When I ask people what they most want for their sexual lives, they often say they really want more confidence. Helping people to build confidence is a huge part of my work with clients, and it’s a huge result of the work we do. So why do most people seem to lack sexual confidence? There [...]
Soulmate Search: How to Find “The One”
It’s Valentine’s Day and I thought it would be apropos to talk about finding “the one” because this Hallmark holiday is built around supporting couples—people who have ostensibly found their one true love. I’ve always disliked that—what about the solo folks who do not identify themselves as part of a pair? How about the unabashedly [...]
When Your Sexual Energy is Blocked
We all have a bowl inside us, a well, a deep gorge of energy that is our core sexual energy. For many people, that energy is buried deep, smothered, depleted, seemingly inaccessible. For others, it is alive, vibrant, flowing and rich. No matter the state of your sexual well, you’ve got one. If you feel [...]
Sexual Self-Actualization
I still find it amazing that Abraham Maslow thought only 1% of people would actually self-actualize. He had a name for our underperformance: “the psychopathology of normality,” that is, the fact that “most of us function most of the time on a level lower than that of self-actualization.” I think most people want to see themselves as [...]
5 Ways Your Self-Esteem Impacts Your Sexuality
Believe it or not, I wrote my Master’s thesis on the connection between masturbation (attitudes and practices) and self-esteem and body image. No doubt there are many connections between these parts of our sexuality, and they play out in so many ways in people’s lives. This week, in preparation for next week’s call about “Sexual [...]
From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Empowerment
There are days when I feel angry by how pervasive sexual abuse is in this world. It is a symptom of a very big problem and the sheer prevalence of it shows just how far we have to go in healing our planet. It’s so common it feels almost like a rite of passage–which is [...]
So You Want a Great Relationship?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about commitment. Women often come to me because they want the perfect relationship. They want someone to show up for them, to be true, not to stray, to be present and authentic. They want to be fully loved. And they can’t figure out why they’ve never had that. Well, [...]
Sex and the Scared Little One
I’m in a tricky business. I talk to people all the time who want to change their lives (it seems), and who want to break out bigger, and experience more sexually, because they KNOW there is more–and they just don’t know how. So they reach out to me, or someone else who works with people around [...]
The Root of Men’s Performance Anxiety
Welcome to part 2 of my men’s series. In part one, I talked about why “Good Guys Finish Last” and the real issues behind the good guy/bad boy dichotomy. In this article, I want to go deeper and talk about the shame that men often feel around sexuality and how that holds them back from [...]
