Relationships
Will You Forsake Your Sexuality for Security?
I speak to women all the time who are facing a major dilemma about how they’ve set up their lives: they have chosen a relationship that makes them feel safe, cared for, stable, and is a good place to raise their children. They have the consistency and show-up-ness of a steady, committed partner that makes [...]
What Does Sexual Power Actually Mean?
Someone told me recently that having a women’s weekend called “Sex-Money-Power” sounds masculine. When I probed further, they said “power” is more of a man’s word and that women don’t really relate to it. I’ve been chewing on that idea and continuing to have conversations with people I met at TEDx last week with people [...]
5 Reasons Why Most People Lack Sexual Confidence
When I ask people what they most want for their sexual lives, they often say they really want more confidence. Helping people to build confidence is a huge part of my work with clients, and it’s a huge result of the work we do. So why do most people seem to lack sexual confidence? There [...]
Soulmate Search: How to Find “The One”
It’s Valentine’s Day and I thought it would be apropos to talk about finding “the one” because this Hallmark holiday is built around supporting couples—people who have ostensibly found their one true love. I’ve always disliked that—what about the solo folks who do not identify themselves as part of a pair? How about the unabashedly [...]
Is Your Avoidance Getting You What You Want?
After being in a nine-year committed relationship with someone who was painfully avoidant I have learned to spot the patterns of avoidance in my clients and the couples with whom I work with a keen eye. I see it come up even in the people who apply to my programs or reach out to me [...]
No More Sexless Holidays!
It’s that holiday time again, the time of joy, cheer, holy union, time to be with family, the warmest time of the year, right? So many expectations go into the holidays and what will happen. If you are in a new relationship there is the new relationship giddiness, or meeting the family for the first [...]
Sex, Love, and Belonging
I have been teaching and talking about sex with people for years, and I have heard people’s stories of vulnerability, of lost desire, of wanting, and of the need for healing. I work with women and couples who have already been somewhere in their lives and they are searching for deeper meaning around sex and [...]
5 Ways Your Self-Esteem Impacts Your Sexuality
Believe it or not, I wrote my Master’s thesis on the connection between masturbation (attitudes and practices) and self-esteem and body image. No doubt there are many connections between these parts of our sexuality, and they play out in so many ways in people’s lives. This week, in preparation for next week’s call about “Sexual [...]
So You Want a Great Relationship?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about commitment. Women often come to me because they want the perfect relationship. They want someone to show up for them, to be true, not to stray, to be present and authentic. They want to be fully loved. And they can’t figure out why they’ve never had that. Well, [...]
When Women “Don’t Like” Other Women
“I don’t really like to spend time with other women.” “I don’t feel comfortable around women.” Ever heard women make these comments? I always raise an internal eyebrow when I hear such things because I know the joy and healing power of being in circles of women and the sweetness of friendship with women—not to [...]
