Sexual Politics

A Forgotten and Critical Feminist Herstory at UCSB

I felt like I went back in time this week. I was a student at the University of California at Santa Barbara during the post-Reagan, George H. W. Bush era in the late 80s and early 90s. Nearly 25 years later, UCSB is still fraught with the issues of violence and sexual assault we struggled [...]

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I Was Terrified the First Time I Went to a Lesbian Bar

I can still vividly remember the first time I went to a lesbian bar in New York City. Okay, I’d been to one in Dallas once before—but with a big group of friends so it wasn’t as big a deal. This was the big gay city. After I’d landed in Greenwich Village and I’d met [...]

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The Trained Eye for Sexual Empowerment

Last week I wrote about Miley Cyrus [“The Sexual Agency of Miley Cyrus”] and we got a lot of responses to that article. Some people are pissed off she is getting so much attention and hated that I bothered to write about it. Some appreciated another perspective on what she’s doing or what our perspective [...]

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The Sexual Agency of Miley Cyrus

Bad pop doesn’t interest me. Dumb performances on MTV that are another cookie cutter-ed shape made of the same old “it’s your job to be pretty and sexy” mold bore me. When Sinead O’Connor got involved in the controversy over Miley Cyrus this week, it peaked my interest, and I took notice, because we all know [...]

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Who is still “Defending Marriage”?

This week, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, an abysmal law that President Clinton signed into being during his term. That was a dark night in the Clinton years. I find it so interesting that a president who actually pushed the bounds of sexuality in daring to be a sexual [...]

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Someone Called Me a “Slut” at My Business Conference

I am often amazed at what people think it’s okay to say to others, especially people who are perfect strangers. I was a sponsor at a business event last week and a woman came up to me at my booth and said, “Are you the sex lady? You’re a real slut aren’t you?”

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What’s a Sex Coach?

When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?”

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Why Elvis was a sexual pioneer

I always knew Elvis made huge contributions to music and film and that he accomplished a lot in his short life. Some of us are meant to be bright stars that burn out…he was one of those stars. He died at 42—my age now, and I was so struck by how much he did in his short life. He said, “Every dream I ever had came true.” What an amazing thing to feel about your life. We could all hope to feel that way.

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Why Sexuality Matters in the 2012 Election

I have worked in the sexuality field for over 18 years. I came to the field in the darkness of the pre-Internet era, long before information about sexuality—and the knowledge that the sexuality field existed—was easily accessible online. Like many people, I grew up without any information or guidance around sexuality, and I went through [...]

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Why Sexuality Matters in the 2012 Election

I have worked in the sexuality field for over 18 years. I came to the field in the darkness of the pre-Internet era, long before information about sexuality—and the knowledge that the sexuality field existed—was easily accessible online. Like many people, I grew up without any information or guidance around sexuality, and I went through [...]

Read more