Posts Tagged ‘developmental tasks’
What’s the Value of Your Sex Life?
Multiple times a week I hear people say they want their sexuality to be a priority, they want to put more energy into it, or they want to stop putting their sex life on the back burner. My response is usually that if they really want their sexual life to change, they have to get it [...]
Walking the Tightrope of Pleasure and Danger
When people find out that I am a sexual empowerment coach, a lot of the time their response is: “Oh, so you do prevention?” I always smile inwardly because I know what this assumption means. No, I answer, I’m not here to prevent your sexuality — actually I’m here to encourage its fullest expression! In our [...]
The 6 Most Common Reasons Women Ask for Sexual Support
My team has been analyzing some of the data I’ve been collecting over the years for why women approach me. We’ve narrowed it down to six key issues that people want help with when they contact me and what they focus on when they come into my sexual empowerment programs. I thought I’d share some of our [...]
Me and Dan Savage Disagree about Desire
I listen to Dan Savage’s Savage LoveCast and I frequently agree with him, often with loud cheers, and big “Yes, Dan, tell them!” type enthusiasm. I listened to the show he did a couple weeks ago where he addressed a 38-year-old virgin, desire, and romantic matches, and I want to take it from another angle. [...]
The Two Fundamental Differences In the Experiences of Queer People
(that heterosexuals might never think about) There are two fundamental things that are so different about queer people that heterosexuals take for granted and might never consider in their lives—unless they want to, or are forced to by their own sexual unhappiness. I’m getting so many questions this week about queer identities, about how to [...]
5 Reasons Why Most People Lack Sexual Confidence
When I ask people what they most want for their sexual lives, they often say they really want more confidence. Helping people to build confidence is a huge part of my work with clients, and it’s a huge result of the work we do. So why do most people seem to lack sexual confidence? There [...]
Is Your Avoidance Getting You What You Want?
After being in a nine-year committed relationship with someone who was painfully avoidant I have learned to spot the patterns of avoidance in my clients and the couples with whom I work with a keen eye. I see it come up even in the people who apply to my programs or reach out to me [...]
Sexual Self-Actualization
I still find it amazing that Abraham Maslow thought only 1% of people would actually self-actualize. He had a name for our underperformance: “the psychopathology of normality,” that is, the fact that “most of us function most of the time on a level lower than that of self-actualization.” I think most people want to see themselves as [...]
5 Ways Your Self-Esteem Impacts Your Sexuality
Believe it or not, I wrote my Master’s thesis on the connection between masturbation (attitudes and practices) and self-esteem and body image. No doubt there are many connections between these parts of our sexuality, and they play out in so many ways in people’s lives. This week, in preparation for next week’s call about “Sexual [...]
