Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’
Sexual Fantasies: What they mean and what to do about them?
The incredible questions that poured in last week for my call on female desire have got me thinking about the topic of fantasies: what they are, what they’re meant for and what to do with them. I’m happy to say that I think we’ve come a long way since 1973, when Cosmo ran a feature [...]
The Sexually Empowered Life
We learn to deal with sexuality in deficits. What’s not there. What we don’t have. What we can’t be. What we can’t do. What we need to stay away from. I’d like to swing the lens around 180 degrees and take a look at what we DO want. What we CAN be. What we CAN have. What we CAN do. What types of lovers we CAN draw to us. What experiences we CAN create for ourselves. How we can EXPAND who we are exponentially when we develop, nurture, heal and explore our sexuality.
This week, I want to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a sexually empowered person?”
Sex and the Single “Person”…in 2013
Our culture sees sexuality as something that gets activated when you get into a relationship, like a switch that turns on and allows a current of flirtation, seduction, playfulness and hotness to flow into your life. But I see sexuality as our core energy, our life force: a fire that’s always present. Sometimes it blazes brightly, sometimes it settles down to embers, and sometimes it needs to be reignited, but it’s always there. Your ability to ride those waves of hotness, desire, playfulness and sexual deliciousness is not dependent on being with someone else. It all comes from within YOU.
Do you take responsibility for your pleasure and orgasms?
Sex and Love Mentors
Sometimes when we are struggling to love ourselves as much as we wish we could, somebody comes into our lives and they love us so fiercely, so big and so wholly, that they teach us how to love ourselves. They become our model for our own self-love.
The Illusion of Independence
In healing from loss, I could see how my independence had become a shield that protected me from really living my life. My orientation to this part of myself finally could shift in my new understanding of what interconnection really is. This was not some new-agey artificial proclamation of “we are one” but a deep knowing of a story I’ve carried in my bones and cells from my ancestors for lifetimes.
The Vulnerability of Healing
Most people are not open about health and processes of healing. We’ve been taught that these are private matters. They are also a place of extreme vulnerability and most people do not want to be that vulnerable, be seen as vulnerable, or even know how to be.
Sexuality is NOT a Luxury
Let me say this as clearly as I can: Sexuality is NOT a luxury. It is an intrinsic part of who we are. It is what brings us orgasmic joy for living fully realized lives. It is the energy we use to make art, make community, make business, make love, and create intimacy. It is the way we connect to our environment and to others. It is the energy we use to bring our whole selves forth in the world.
Fixing Relationships: “Quickly & Easily”
I tend to assume more of people. I think many people are in unhappy relationships and don’t know why they are so unhappy, and maybe don’t know where to turn to do the work…I think if you are with anyone long enough you will need to go to couples therapy at some point to do the work of figuring out how two wounded people can deeply love and effectively support each other and break the patterns they have learned in their upbringing and past relationships.
Playing Hide and Seek with Intimacy
When we hide from ourselves and in our relationships, we prevent ourselves from creating true intimacy. Intimacy requires being vulnerable, being imperfect
