Posts Tagged ‘sexuality’
What’s the Value of Your Sex Life?
Multiple times a week I hear people say they want their sexuality to be a priority, they want to put more energy into it, or they want to stop putting their sex life on the back burner. My response is usually that if they really want their sexual life to change, they have to get it [...]
Walking the Tightrope of Pleasure and Danger
When people find out that I am a sexual empowerment coach, a lot of the time their response is: “Oh, so you do prevention?” I always smile inwardly because I know what this assumption means. No, I answer, I’m not here to prevent your sexuality — actually I’m here to encourage its fullest expression! In our [...]
The 6 Most Common Reasons Women Ask for Sexual Support
My team has been analyzing some of the data I’ve been collecting over the years for why women approach me. We’ve narrowed it down to six key issues that people want help with when they contact me and what they focus on when they come into my sexual empowerment programs. I thought I’d share some of our [...]
Me and Dan Savage Disagree about Desire
I listen to Dan Savage’s Savage LoveCast and I frequently agree with him, often with loud cheers, and big “Yes, Dan, tell them!” type enthusiasm. I listened to the show he did a couple weeks ago where he addressed a 38-year-old virgin, desire, and romantic matches, and I want to take it from another angle. [...]
Sexual Fantasies: What they mean and what to do about them?
The incredible questions that poured in last week for my call on female desire have got me thinking about the topic of fantasies: what they are, what they’re meant for and what to do with them. I’m happy to say that I think we’ve come a long way since 1973, when Cosmo ran a feature [...]
A Forgotten and Critical Feminist Herstory at UCSB
I felt like I went back in time this week. I was a student at the University of California at Santa Barbara during the post-Reagan, George H. W. Bush era in the late 80s and early 90s. Nearly 25 years later, UCSB is still fraught with the issues of violence and sexual assault we struggled [...]
The Two Fundamental Differences In the Experiences of Queer People
(that heterosexuals might never think about) There are two fundamental things that are so different about queer people that heterosexuals take for granted and might never consider in their lives—unless they want to, or are forced to by their own sexual unhappiness. I’m getting so many questions this week about queer identities, about how to [...]
The 5 Biggest Fears About Desire
I’ve been speaking and writing about desire lately because I believe that understanding and opening to desire is so central to living a fulfilled life. If you missed my call last week, “Claim Your Sexual Power: 5 Steps to Stop Fearing Your Desire and Start Living It,” I want to share my observations on the [...]
3 Reasons Why Desire is Absolutely Necessary
This week I invited people on my mailing list to send me their questions about sexuality and desire, and I really enjoyed getting the chance to read them and offer my analysis. Here’s some of what I heard: What’s with the ‘coming in waves’ thing? I just work up the “Yeah, this is really what [...]
What Does Sexual Power Actually Mean?
Someone told me recently that having a women’s weekend called “Sex-Money-Power” sounds masculine. When I probed further, they said “power” is more of a man’s word and that women don’t really relate to it. I’ve been chewing on that idea and continuing to have conversations with people I met at TEDx last week with people [...]
