Posts Tagged ‘shadow’
From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Empowerment
There are days when I feel angry by how pervasive sexual abuse is in this world. It is a symptom of a very big problem and the sheer prevalence of it shows just how far we have to go in healing our planet. It’s so common it feels almost like a rite of passage–which is [...]
Sex and the Scared Little One
I’m in a tricky business. I talk to people all the time who want to change their lives (it seems), and who want to break out bigger, and experience more sexually, because they KNOW there is more–and they just don’t know how. So they reach out to me, or someone else who works with people around [...]
50 Shades of Sexual Self-Care
This morning I was interviewed by a reporter who wanted me to talk about BDSM and the “50 Shades” phenomenon. I woke early to make myself read more of 50 Shades of Grey because I didn’t feel well-prepared to talk about it. As I was reading, what I realized was this: a huge part of [...]
The Power of Speaking the Unspeakable
I have found that speaking the unspeakable empowers me. It’s a gift to name what others will not name, to say what’s really going on rather than pretend it’s not. Most people pretend. It’s easier, but it sure doesn’t help you create the life you really want. Others almost always appreciate it when I speak what no one else would, because it opens up the space for them to be more transparent, honest and present in our dialogue.
Vanquishing Your Inner Damsel
Women are often taught to expect salvation/redemption/fulfillment from other people. To empower yourself, confront your inner Damsel–the part of yourself that wants to be saved–and start taking responsibility for your own joy.
What to do with All These Weiners?
People act like these sex scandals are so surprising, as if by some magical transformation, just by nature of becoming a politician, people cease to be human or to live in our culture. We live in a sex-negative culture that promotes tremendously unrealistic standards for sexual desire, attraction and expression. Our culture also loves to sexually shame people and we use sexual shame as a means for gaining cultural currency. Politicians, who have many “enemies” will be obvious targets for public shamings.
Playing Hide and Seek with Intimacy
When we hide from ourselves and in our relationships, we prevent ourselves from creating true intimacy. Intimacy requires being vulnerable, being imperfect