Posts Tagged ‘vulnerability’
A Forgotten and Critical Feminist Herstory at UCSB
I felt like I went back in time this week. I was a student at the University of California at Santa Barbara during the post-Reagan, George H. W. Bush era in the late 80s and early 90s. Nearly 25 years later, UCSB is still fraught with the issues of violence and sexual assault we struggled [...]
Will You Forsake Your Sexuality for Security?
I speak to women all the time who are facing a major dilemma about how they’ve set up their lives: they have chosen a relationship that makes them feel safe, cared for, stable, and is a good place to raise their children. They have the consistency and show-up-ness of a steady, committed partner that makes [...]
The 5 Biggest Fears About Desire
I’ve been speaking and writing about desire lately because I believe that understanding and opening to desire is so central to living a fulfilled life. If you missed my call last week, “Claim Your Sexual Power: 5 Steps to Stop Fearing Your Desire and Start Living It,” I want to share my observations on the [...]
So You Want a Great Relationship?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about commitment. Women often come to me because they want the perfect relationship. They want someone to show up for them, to be true, not to stray, to be present and authentic. They want to be fully loved. And they can’t figure out why they’ve never had that. Well, [...]
Hurricane Sandy Just Had a Big Raging Orgasm
I am saddened by what has happened to the city I’ve had a love affair with for nearly two decades. I’m thinking about how Hurricane Sandy reflects us and who we are sexually. It’s like Sandy just had a big raging orgasm, one of those that takes time to gather energy, steam and power, lots [...]
Victimhood vs. Responsibility
I was interviewed a few weeks ago by a reporter who wanted to talk about 50 Shades of Grey and just why exactly so many women harbor the desire to be sexually submissive. (You can click here to hear the interview.) This question of submission and agency has been debated over and over by sexuality [...]
Hurricane Sandy Just Had a Big Raging Orgasm
I wonder how you are keeping a lid on your sexuality because you are afraid to blow like that. I’ve been talking to a lot of people about their sexual lives recently. I notice that many are used to keeping it down, keeping it quiet, keeping it intact, keeping it neat. Sex isn’t neat. It can rock you like a hurricane. It can feel that vulnerable, that big, that expressive.
Five Reasons People Go into Shame Around Money & Sex
Sex and money are the two things we are judged about more than just about anything. They touch nearly every aspect of our lives in some way and they are linked to how we show up in relationship.
50 Shades of Sexual Self-Care
This morning I was interviewed by a reporter who wanted me to talk about BDSM and the “50 Shades” phenomenon. I woke early to make myself read more of 50 Shades of Grey because I didn’t feel well-prepared to talk about it. As I was reading, what I realized was this: a huge part of [...]
The Power of Speaking the Unspeakable
How often do you filter yourself and prevent yourself from speaking up about something that needs to be spoken? The world would be completely different if we were all fully self-expressed. That doesn’t mean everything has to be said, because it doesn’t and learning what doesn’t need to be said can be as important as [...]
